What the body taught me about therapy

Our bodies are unsafe for most people.

Receiving catharsis is okay, provoking it is not okay.

Making technology very small.

Therapy happens in the client's life.

In motivation there are four important things: Acceptance, Discrepancy (Reality vs Goal), Achievability and Empathetic.

Previous life... What nourishment does that give you? What obstacles does that give you?

Defense mechanisms...do you notice that you...? What we mainly ward off is happiness, harmony, love, ... Because our society is focused on negative things and problems.

Listening is medicine.

What is there now and what can it become?

Commitments -> Time!

A therapist is responsible for the process, the client is responsible for the content.

What was so great then?

Beliefs

Is that true? Yes/No Can you be sure it's true? (burst) * Have you ever known it differently? * How do you react when you believe that thought? What's happening in your body? * What would you be without that thought? What's happening in your body?

Consciousness is also embodied.

Oh my body, make me a person who questions!

Iwalewa -> true beauty lies in good character. #yoruba #westafrican

Listening to language -> 13%. Observe body > 50%.

I see you have your hand over your mouth.

Listen. What do you mean by that?

Acknowledgment -> Summarize what you heard and give back in your own words. (don't repeat what the other person says).

Influence -> Goal -> Not good.

Does this make sense to you?

Recognition of the problem + agreement about the problem.

Recognition is a gateway to self-expression.

Escape -> if you place your own parcel. Benefit -> Healing. Disadvantage -> Dependence on therapist. Dependence can end the process. Positive transfer.

Questions
Do you want to know something about me?
What brought you here?
What is anger to you?
Can you be angry?
What do you do when you are angry?
What makes you angry?
(ditto for Sad and Happy).
What makes you sad?
Can you cry?
What makes you happy?
Can you be happy?
(Don't start by letting them tell their story - only later).
What is your greatest fear? (70% do not know this).
Which nest do you come from?
How is your relationship with father?
How is your relationship with mother?
How did you experience the relationship between your father and mother?
What did this do to you?
Are you in a relationship?
How is your relationship?
Are you divorced?
Are you alone?
Ask age.
How is your relationship with your children?
Brothers/Sisters? Died? Where are you in line?
Do you feel that you have had traumas in your life?
How do you experience sexuality?
What is your body to you?
Have you been bullied? (people who have been bullied -> babysitting -> no humor. everything personal. getting red in the throat. related to birth, umbilical cord. difficult to make noise. breathing sessions! With strokes (especially head). Making you puke (puking sessions). Induce the vomit reflex. Let it bite -> Bite away (on the side of the hands).
Are you grinding your teeth? -> Can't be angry. biting your teeth at night.
Are there addictions? Question -> When are you addicted? -> bingo
Medication -> AntiD/Sleep/... -> Sedated

Good emotion -> lighten up. If anger does not relieve -> cry. If crying doesn't provide relief -> being angry. Screaming from above -> Not okay. Calls must be justified. Growling and then building up.

I have the potential within me to resist the temptation to numb myself.

You can never guide someone who is ill yourself.

Agree on the problem -> search

Client comes to session because of dissatisfaction.

95% comes from victimhood.

Autism -> Label -> Keep seeing the person!

Exercises
Look into each other's eyes in pairs. Which eye? Where tension? Music -> mirror each other.
Two rows of people directly opposite each other. 6 steps forward - turn - 6 steps forward - turn... walk. Let it happen. Faster/Slower.
Make sound.
The 2 groups matched each other.
No appointments.
Exercise per 4 or 5. Quadrilateral - 4 points (or 5 with extra point in the middle). You are not allowed to cross each other. Always keep moving. So walking from 1 point to another point. RAIN - Recognize, Acceptance, Investigate (echoes), NoN Identification

An idea -> is that true? Feeling -> Express it!

~~Are you willing?~~ -> Would you like (desire)

I long to be together with you.

Rock and Water (Jonas).

Exercise pelvis - 3 axes
Horizontal axis - Front/back - bumps - In connection/out of connection. SOCIAL AXIS.
Vertical Axis - Centered - Things coming loose
Left/right axis - Leonardo Da Vinci - Protection

In therapy, stay 70% with yourself, 30% with the other.

Tell me, what do you do to not feel unsafe in contact?

Inquiries -> Double Negation -> Client: Never felt bad -> Tell me, why have you never felt bad? What's happening in your body?

If the client is on a certain axis, better stay on that axis. Client talks about a tiger -> Symbols.

Keep the distance you need to love someone.

Not trying to solve anything. Be curious. The client solves it himself.

Ok spot, Not Ok spot.

As a therapist/coach you are not the solution, but you are an expert in the process.

You follow a piece, but you also take the lead.

I feel very respected in the way you express yourself.